When I eat food now, I chose to eat rice plain with just a little meat and vegetable. When I do not see a smile, I try to find one somewhere. When it rains, I do not stop and take cover but continue walking. When I see a moto taxi, I take a cyclo because no one rides cyclos no more. When I see that I have too many shoes or too many pairs of clothes, I give them away. When the kids offer to buy me food, I tell them to save their money until they become famous and when I then have no money, then they can feed me. When I hear a question that has been not been asked, I ask if they are having a nice day to find out that unasked question. If somebody is looking at me with curiosity, I smile and blow them a kiss. Even if my day is gloomy, I will still try to find ways to shine for the people who I will meet that day in Cambodia.
I learn to care more about the things and people of importance in my life. I care about the poor kids who have no pants, the sex worker who has no other choice, the corrupted who lost their way, and the hopeless who feel that they cannot change the world they see. I care for the people who spoke my name this one special year and helped me remember what my name means. I care for the people I laughed with, people I hugged, and people who gave me time. I care for the people who had taken advantage of me and the people who treated me with honesty. They are still people. I care for the people who I had not met and the people who I made friends.
I care for the man who cut me the fresh coconut juice. I care for the cyclo man who took me to Central Market. I care for the police officer that wanted bribe money. I care for the politician who wanted to shoot me. I care for the rich Cambodian kids who looked at me when I walk into their place; out of place. I care for the politicians whose corruption money helped him buy his Landcruiser(s). I care for the lady who sells me sweet mango and coconut rice. I care for Auntie who smiles at me every time I order rice and eggs. I care for the people who look and stare at an out of place person in an out of place country.
I care for Chariya who gave me hope and support for the year. I care for my ballerina dancer who left with memories of love. I care for Socheta who brought me a chocolate roll every time it was available. I care for Casmir who spent New Years with me. I care for Brother T who took me home when no one else did. I care for Kaa who gave me a smile every time we bargained for a mosquito net. I care for Kanal, for whom I lost his number and the bowl of noodles we both shared. I care for Bong Phany and Bong Long for the long trips to the countryside and constant word of guidance, laughter, and who made me feel like I was their brother. I care for Luk Kru and Nek Kru would never lost their humor even though most times, things were not funny. I thank my Cambodia Mother, Aunties, and Uncles who adopted me and welcomed me with hospitality. I care for my sugar cane girls who always remember to give me sugar cane juice without orange squeeze. I care for the orphan kids who I sit with and argue about WWE on the waterfront. I care for Nina and our made up T-shirt business. I care for Sarah Dee and Sarah Tee who were real friends to me and but who I failed to meet our friendship with expectations. I care for Noy, my sexy beast that always matches my laughter with hers. I feel for my motop brother who name I forgot that gave me a ride one day even though I had no money. I care for Rina’s DVD shop for keeping me busy with movies at night. I care for Sergio for always greeting me every time I see him. I care for Bong at the FCC who always smiles when we shook hands. I care for my fried banana lady who fries the best bananas in Phnom Penh. I care for the T&Coffee staff that always remembered when I shaved or had my hair cut. I care for the people in the countryside who I know one day life will be better. I especially care for my kids – my Tonle Bassac Kids who I come to call young brothers and sisters. I think about my fellow Fulbrights who speak condescendingly towards my work, that I am not doing nothing but I care for the laughs from them knowing that I have one of the greatest treasure in the world. I know of things they didn’t experienced, how to sit, eat, sleep, dance, smile, laugh, cry, sing, travel with kids who do not know nothing about what a Fulbright is. I care for the pretension of them towards Cambodia because I have enough of my time here to write a book that people I know will choose to read. I care for their pleasure on the decision making process of which expat restaurant or making happy hour but I make happy hour of enjoying my watching of my young brothers and sisters dancing. If my other Fulbrights only saw what I understood this year, then they would understand why I took this Fulbright experience to Cambodia not as resume builder, free vacation for 10 months, or a stepping-stone to grad school, but as an understanding to people in the world. I think deeply if their Fulbright really brought them a sense of Cambodia like it did to me but then I do not know what they talked about during happy hour, but I care to know what I experienced during mine time of happy hour.
PS: I will leave you with a 12 min edit of my video, if you want a copy and can’t wait for the full upload on the web, you can email me. Also some there some more items to boot. Photo credits go to Rany and Jenny.
I would like to finally thank Fulbright, mtvU, IIE, State Department, and my new and old family and friends for giving me this year. Thank You.
Here is a Transcript of the video:
1. Kids singing
I asked the kids to sing me a song, they started but then I stopped them and joked with them on how they are not doing the motion. They laughed and then told me I had to give them more money. Then we restarted the song which then lead in to the start of the teaser.
2. It starts with the first interviewee talking about the importance of this music by the deceased artist reveals a cambodian connection to culture and revealing of cambodian life. Then it continue to the next interviewee talking about how he remembers growing up how his mom and him used to listen to the music and how his granddad will save up money to buy batteries to listen put in the radio
3. Next, one of my kids I interviewed sings me a very moving classic song. Just the acapella reachs to the scope of the lyrics
4. Cuts to a local Khmer artist who is talking about the Khmer Rouge and how the people upon the return were so emotional upon hearing the music for the very first time
5. The founder of Cambodian Living Arts is talking about how these artist were called “legends” and then talk about the far reaching of the music. It then continues to next person who is talking about music preservations of NGOs to preserve the arts and culture of Cambodia.
6. It finishes with the process of a recent CD making efforts in cambodia
